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The Avengers Station attraction is set to close at TI, we’re told by multiple sources.

Housekeeping up front: TI is how our fellow youths refer to Treasure Island. Also, technically, it’s Avengers S.T.A.T.I.O.N. (Scientific Training and Tactical Intelligence Operative Network). We’re going to call it Avengers Station because we hate affectation and all caps.

The attraction is set to close Jan. 2, 2024, although, there’s been no official announcement or confirmation of the date. Give it a minute.

This is not the real Avengers Station! It’s A.I.! Attraction design artists are so out of a job.

We reached out to Neon, formerly CityNeon, the corporate overlord of Victory Hill Exhibitions, which operates Avengers Station, to confirm our scoop, but we haven’t heard back yet.

The Golden Rule of Las Vegas is “successful things don’t close.”

In this situation, a case could be made that Avengers Station has been around 2016, so ultimately it has been a success, it’s just not generating enough revenue to keep it going.

With attractions like this, while ticket sales may be good, the licensing agreement (in this case, with Marvel) takes a big bite out of the profits.

This scenario arose with a downtown attraction, Fear the Walking Dead Survival. The walk-through attraction did a fair amount of business, but it wasn’t sustainable given the hefty licensing fee taken by AMC. (Full disclosure, we worked in marketing at Fremont Street Experience during the relatively short life of the attraction. It’s true, it failed despite our immense talent. Go figure.)

If you’re unfamiliar with Avengers Station, here’s the skinny: “The Las Vegas attraction includes an interactive journey through the Marvel Cinematic Universe, allowing guests to engage with the Hulk, Captain America, Thor, Iron Man and additional Avengers icons throughout. The experience also includes original props and costumes from legendary Marvel films, including a ten-foot Hulkbuster, Bruce Banner’s laboratory, Captain America’s motorcycle and much more.”

This is part of the attraction. Further proof A.I. is much better than reality.

We never went to Avengers Station, but that’s probably because we believe superheroes have ruined movies and made people stupid. All due respect.

Our sources say Victory Hill Exhibitions will continue to lease the space at TI, so the big question is what’s next. There’s a possibility that sentence should’ve ended with a question mark, but we do not live by society’s rules?

The inside chatter is a top level executive at Victory Hill is pushing for a pirate-themed attraction to replace Avengers Station. Pirates over superheroes any day of the week with us.

What could a pirate attraction look like? Well, let’s ask A.I. Sorry, attraction designers. A.I. came up with this in 60 seconds.

We just saved you $2 million in design and development costs, Victory Hill Exhibitions. Give your designers a nice severance package!

A pirate attraction would be epic, despite the fact TI has made an effort to rid itself of its pirate theme over the past few years. Maybe a pirate attraction will inspire owner Phil Ruffin to dump the “TI” and restore Treasure Island to its former kitschy glory. Bring back the Sirens, too, while you’re at it, Phil.

Look, Phil Ruffin is a known penny-pincher, so we’ll even throw in a design for the Scallywag Lounge. Note, if your first instinct is to say “It’s spelled “scalawag,” you are probably no fun at parties, just sit down.

Alternative names: Avast Bar, Blow the Man Down Lounge, Heave Ho Bistro. Just spit-balling here.

For further cost savings, how about repurposing some of the Avengers props and characters in the pirate attraction?

How many blogs dole out billion-dollar ideas like candy on Halloween?

We are so happy to help, and ask no more than a paltry 25% of gross merchandise sales at the upcoming Avengers Pirate S.L.O.O.P. (Seadogs, Landlubbers, BOOty and Plunder) attraction in perpetuity or until we need more cash to play video poker.

Ladies, try and resist pirate Tony Stark.

You laugh. Hollywood, let’s do lunch.

That should keep the Avengers fans at bay.

On the bright side, the folks working at Avengers S.T.A.T.I.O.N. won’t be out of a gig during the holidays. We trust they’ll be absorbed internally, as the company also operates The Hunger Games: The Exhibition at MGM Grand. Which we’ve heard could be the subject of a shake-up, too.

We’ve got an idea!

If you aren’t falling in love with pirate Katniss right now, you might be an automaton.

Seriously, why are we wasting our time doing a Las Vegas blog when we could be making a quadzillion dollars exploiting A.I. and changing the world of interactive attractions, as well as our dreams about Jennifer Lawrence, forever?

Look, if you don’t stop reading, we’ll just keep cranking out A.I. images and snark. So, please, move on with your life and just remember where you saw this scoop first. We’ll probably remind you. Probably.

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